You can heal your life – Change

The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.

Nathaniel Branden

This post continues my learning from the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. What is the next step after revisiting and identifying all the beliefs you have? House cleaning!

Yes—after identifying the beliefs residing in you and analyzing them, it’s time for mental house cleaning. Clean up and retain the beliefs that help you sustain and grow. Nourish the ones you need to enhance for a better present and future. Thank the old beliefs that limit you and add no value to your life. These could include childhood beliefs like “Don’t talk to strangers,” early adulthood thoughts like “I’m not a good speaker/dancer/athlete,” or guilt-driven ideas such as “I’m not enough” or “I’m not good.” Thank those unwanted thoughts and beliefs that stayed with you—whether for a short or long time—and release them.

Getting rid of unwanted beliefs and thoughts is essential. It helps you develop new beliefs that bring happiness and growth. It’s like the Zen story about the teacup: unless you empty the cup, you cannot fill it with fresh tea.

Of course, this requires effort. Change—and the willingness to change—are key to transformation. But our brains are wired from the hunter-gatherer days to maintain the status quo. Back then, sticking to familiar surroundings and people was necessary for survival in a world full of predators and unsafe shelters. Though we are now 100 times safer, we still tend to avoid change as much as possible.

Everyone wants change, but when it comes to deciding what and how to change, resistance pops up and creates hurdles. Observe yourself and notice how you resist. Resistance can take many forms. Let’s explore some examples using the case of starting regular exercise and healthy eating habits.

Forms of Resistance

Physical/Nonverbal: Avoid talking about it, falling sick, or getting a headache, so you can skip the gym or walk. Arrive late, so you don’t get a spot. Stay busy with other tasks to justify skipping. Ignore reminders or messages that push you to act.

Assumptions: Assume things about others to justify resistance. “People go to the gym and see no results—it’s useless.” Or, “Others have so much free time; I’m different.”

Beliefs: Excuses like “No one in my family spends time or money on gym memberships,” “It’s too far,” “It’s expensive,” “I’m not that kind of person.”

Them: Give power to others and use it as an excuse. “My friends will tease me if I refuse ice cream,” “Relatives will feel bad if I don’t eat their dishes,” “They’ll laugh at my fitness craze.”

Self-Concepts: “I’m too old to start running,” “I’ll look awkward exercising in public,” “Weights will hurt me,” “I don’t have balance or dancing skills.”

Delaying Tactics: “I’m busy now,” “Summer is a better time,” “Maybe next year.” Procrastination takes control and rules!

Denial: “I’m fine—no health problems,” “No doctor asked me to exercise,” “When I’m healthy, I should eat whatever I like.”

Fear: “What if dieting makes me weak?” “What if I get injured exercising?” Better to stay as is than invite trouble.

These examples show how the mind clings to old habits and beliefs, creating resistance to change. The important thing to remember is: you are much more than your mind. Your mind calls the shots now because you’ve trained it that way. But it’s just a tool—you can train or retrain it. You can create new beliefs and change old thought patterns.

We cannot change old thoughts—they belong to the past. But we can influence the mind to focus on the present and think positively. Training the mind is like teaching a child—it will rebel at first. Stay focused and firm, and soon it will adopt the new way of thinking you desire.

To recap the points from the two blogs:

• Identify all the beliefs that define you, and decide what to keep, nurture, or discard.
• Look for new beliefs that will help you become a better person and grow.
• Watch out for resistance that may arise within yourself.
• Release old thought patterns—let them go.
• Train your mind to overcome the excuses that fuel resistance.
• Be kind to yourself while training for the change.
• Embrace the change and move in the direction you wish to go.

—Anitha KC

Photos: Alexas Fotos on Pexels.com, Google images