You can heal your life – Beliefs

As the year is unfolding itself, my reading list is growing. I have completed a book and started two books from the list. The third book arrives in my hand.

A casual talk with my friend in an evening turned into a philosophical discussion that went on for hours. That’s the beauty of face to face conversation! You can see, understand the surrounding situation, and thoughts flow like a river that drenches your mind with happiness. Good conversations could be as satisfying as reading a good book. That evening gave me both as she handed me a book to read. I was happy to see the author’s name, Loise Hay. I have heard audio recordings of the author and read a few things online. It was the first book from the author that I am holding in my hands.

I started reading the book on the same day, and almost half the book is over, and I have ordered a copy for myself. I am impressed with the thoughts of the author on different matters. I remember my office friends now. When I talk about the books I read, they would ask me to summarize them. It was easier for them to learn without reading! So thought of penning down a few ideas to help many who may not read this book! I am starting with a topic, may write more articles under this theme.

What are your Beliefs?

Have you ever taken stock of your beliefs? I haven’t done it earlier. Most of us are aware of the benefits of de-cluttering and tidying up.

How do you declutter your wardrobe? Take all the clothes out and see what all you have. Check which one fits you well. Do they reflect your current interests and style? Decide on donating or disposing of the clothes that you won’t feel like wearing anymore. Or check whether you can recycle and use it for some other purpose. As we pull out the clothes, we realize what all we have! I feel that Pareto’s 80/20 rule applies to our wardrobe too. We use only 20% of the clothes 80% of the time. We stare at 80% of the clothes and think we do not have enough clothes to wear. Because we do not like those clothes. We tend to keep them as we have already spent money on or got some as gifts. Some may be pretty new and not worn, a few may be worn-out, we still want to keep them as we liked it earlier, or others may remind us on certain occasions, places, or people.

So we have different things with different needs like:

• Ones that are old but can be used now and also in the future
• Ones that require a wash
• Ones that need professional wash/care
• Ones that need fixing
• Ones that are good for frequent usage ( want to use and missed it as it was behind others)
• Ones that we have outgrown in size or style – not usable anymore
• Ones to be thrown away
• Ones that are missing and you need to buy/bring them in

Are you wondering why I am writing about the clothes? Why am I reminding you of the pending clean-ups? Hold on as we are gearing up for a task important than that. Tougher than sorting the clothes in the closet, that is to sort out your beliefs!

How many beliefs do you have? When did you start building a closet for it? From the time we came to this world as babies? Where did you pick those beliefs? Parents, family, neighbors, friends, teachers? Books, newspapers, Television soaps, news, movies, advertisements, social media, forward messages, schools, colleges, workplace, and many more sources and situations! Which all did we pick with intentions to keep and which others came to us without asking for it? There may be a big sack of beliefs that you did not know existed in your mind! Gradually they would have seeped into the system due to the constant exposure to them. Shall we take stock of them and sort them out?

Are you serious about it? I am so. I agree that it is overwhelming, time-consuming, and exhausting. Let us face it. Instead of procrastinating like the closet clean up, let us take it up at this instance. If you can not do it immediately, at least commit a date or a weekend when you would take it up. It is the exercise you need to do for yourself. It would help you to keep your system in place and in good condition. It is much easier to explore the outer world. You can visit any place of your choice, take a pretty picture, and post it on social media. You can tell the rest of the world about it. Such expeditions require time, money, and infrastructure.

For exploring inside, you do not need any money or modes of transport. There is no dependency on external factors. It requires less time than traveling. But it takes loads of courage and will power to dig deeper and see within us. You may need to take yourself head-on with some wrong beliefs. May need to acknowledge certain beliefs within you that you may have without being aware of them. Let us see some examples.

You are good, you are lazy, you do not look good, your hand writing is good, you are a fast learner, you do not understand things, you are an excellent communicator, you cannot handle any situation properly, you do not know how to use money, you mess up things, paper works are scary, saving money is for the people who earn less or scared of job loss, one who does not party is a miser, people who go to mall are spendthrifts, you won’t look good in modern clothing, you look bad in ethnic dresses, people with modern clothes are better people, people who wear stylish clothes are hiding some flaws, non veg food gives good body, people who eat veg are not strong, people exercise to lose weight, you have many important tasks than exercising as it is a waste of time, people go to gym or for walk to show off their clothing, you are slim enough to skip exercise or think of healthy eating, you cannot get another job, you are not good enough for nice clothes or better home, you do not have green thumb to grow plants, studying after getting a job is waste of time, nice to watch some television shows than walking in cold, getting up early is for old schoolers, staying up late and watching web series is better than getting up early for some exercise, people just talk about good habits, they may not follow, self help books are for losers who do not know, who will read in this time, you need to learn new things constantly to keep your mind active, physical activities boost mind power too, politics is bad, economy is not doing well, investing is risky, buying property is tricky, difficult to believe people, many are not good, people help me, I can rely on my friends, my family is with me, I can depend on my colleagues, people in my town are good, my country is best place to live, my country is a bad place to live, our society shapes us, kids learn bad things from friends, relatives are good, they are bad and so on. Each of us is hoarding loads of beliefs!

Let us take the example of not trusting strangers. Parents tell it to toddlers to safeguard them. It is right for that age. But it makes no sense for an adult to hold on to that belief. You need to discard if not done yet. As an adult, you need to have a strategy and logic on whom to trust or not. Like this, you need to audit the beliefs that may be good for you or not, may be outdated or not, may need to mend them, throw them, polish them, keep them in the front row of thoughts, discard, exchange with better ones and so on.

Let us relook at the list which we did for the clothes in our closet:

• Ones that are old but can be used now and also in the future
• Ones that require a wash
• Ones that need professional wash/care
• Ones that need fixing
• Ones that are good for frequent usage ( want to use and missed it as it was behind others)
• Ones that we have outgrown in size or style – not usable anymore
• Ones to be thrown away
• Ones that are missing and you need to buy/bring them in

Did you find them appropriate for the beliefs too? Would you map them with the list that we made for the clothes? Let us plan some steps to help clean up our belief system.

What to do with your beliefs?

• Commit your self to change, set a time for this exercise.
• Keep yourself away from all the distractions for at least 1-2 hours.
• Take a notebook and a pen or a text editor if you want to use your gadget.
• List down your beliefs in different areas like people, family, study, work, body, mind, parenting, work-related, or whichever field you can think of or want to improve.
• Categorize those beliefs – to fix, change, discard, honor, and nourish.
• Decide to act on them as per your categorization/ mapping.

Look out for the beliefs that could help you in the areas of your interest. Need to work on consciously installing beneficial beliefs into your system.

Remember that it may consume time, or exhaust you with too many thoughts. Believe it, as it is good for you. You are on the right path to embark on the journey of self-discovery and development. Best-wishes to you!

Feel comfortable to add your experience and suggestions in the comments section. Let us help each other!

— Anitha KC

Images: agsandrew / iStock / Getty Images/ google images