You can heal your life – Letting go

Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop – Rumi

For any change in life, the first step is to let go of the past. It could be habits, experiences, or anything you are holding on to. Unless we empty our cups, we cannot fill them afresh. Nature is the best teacher. As Rumi’s quote says, “Trees never hold on to dead leaves.” They let the dry leaves fall so new ones can grow.

Why do we hold on to unwanted thoughts and experiences? Most of the time, they are resentments and regrets—both of which do us no good except rusting our minds. Is this something new? Not really. We know which thoughts are good for us and which are not. We have the awareness to keep our minds light and free from unnecessary burdens.

So why do we avoid doing it? Because we allow our minds to control us. It’s easier to maintain the status quo and keep all resentments and regrets than to make the effort to resolve them. But to feel lighter and allow freshness, you need to train your mind and take control.

Training the mind is like training a child who resists going to school. Just as with a child, you need to console or be firm to get the desired result.

Forgiveness is the key to a lighter mind. It means forgiving yourself for regrets and forgiving others for resentments.

Regrets: Can you forgive yourself for past mistakes and wrongdoings? Yes, you can. What other way is there? Holding on to old mistakes and beating yourself up will never change the past. As in the Zen story, holding a cup of water for five minutes does no harm. But hold it for five hours, and your hand suffers. The same applies to worrying about past mistakes—the longer you hold on, the more it hurts.

Take a deep breath and let go of those troubling thoughts. Sit quietly with your eyes closed and be mindful. With each exhale, release the thoughts that hurt you. Your imagination shapes your reality—consciously releasing these thoughts will make you feel lighter and better. You may also try guided meditations or soft music to help you focus.

Resentments: How do you forgive others who have wronged you or caused anger, anxiety, or sadness? It is possible. You don’t need to tell them you’ve forgiven them—it’s all a mind game, and you can do it.

Holding anger against someone affects you more than them. Your mind and body suffer more than the person you resent. Worrying about the past won’t solve the problem—it only spoils your mood and tires your body.

You don’t know the background, situation, or upbringing that shaped that person’s actions. Maybe what they did seemed right to them at that time. You cannot revisit the past or change its consequences. The only thing you can do now is forgive them in your mind. Release troubling thoughts and focus on preventing similar situations in the future. Learn from the past and be prepared. Let go of the past.

Each of us is different, as are our experiences. For some, sitting quietly and practicing mindfulness works. For others, guided meditation helps. And for some, consulting a qualified professional may be necessary.

Whatever the approach, clearing your mind, letting go of the past, and welcoming fresh thoughts and ideas will soothe both body and mind.

—Anitha KC

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