Finding the rhythm of your life

This paragraph is from Like the Flowing River, written by one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho. In it, he shares something a woman once told him—about how she completed her pilgrimage at her own pace.

Isn’t this true for all of us, in our journey through life?

With increasing peer pressure and societal expectations, we often get caught in a race, matching speed and milestones without considering our own circumstances. We overlook differences in background, support systems, and personal capacity. Each of us functions within unique constraints shaped by health, time, resources, responsibilities, and emotional bandwidth.

When we ignore these differences and focus only on others’ targets and pace, the journey can feel overwhelming. It may even push us to quit altogether—or leave us with disappointment and dissatisfaction for not reaching the same milestones at the same speed.

This story reminds me of many instances in my own life where I’ve felt like the woman in the pilgrimage.

The first thing that comes to mind is blogging.

As I write this, I remember the resistance I had to overcome just to start this blog—something I’ve mentioned in earlier posts. After setting up the website, I began writing and publishing regularly. Initially, I spent more time understanding WordPress and the technical aspects than actually writing.

Then I started reading other blogs—observing their reader base, comments, and engagement. Slowly, a thought crept in: What’s the point of writing if no one is reading?

I knew, logically, that every journey begins with a first step—and I had taken mine. I also knew that I was blogging to satisfy my creative urge, not for validation. Yet, I couldn’t help wishing for a larger readership, like some well-known bloggers.

I came across websites with popular content and a strong reader base. Aware of my limitations—time, energy, and resources—I felt discouraged. When others posted two or three times a week, I managed at most one. With the time I could realistically invest, my website couldn’t grow at the pace I expected.

I did get some early subscribers—people I knew and people I didn’t. That support boosted my morale. But I also noticed something important: the moment I started comparing numbers, I lost the joy of writing—the very reason I had started this blog.

I observed another pattern. When I focused too much on improving readership, I stopped writing altogether. And when I stepped away for too long, it took much more effort to begin again. Today, I’m deeply grateful to readers from different parts of the world. Seeing the map in WordPress statistics still brings me quiet joy.

I’ve now accepted my pace. I write when I feel like writing. I’m no longer trying to match anyone else’s rhythm. I’m walking with my own.

I see a similar pattern in long-distance running. Progress depends on health, fitness, time, and consistency. Some may run 21 km or even 42 km within a year; others may need more time. Neither is right nor wrong. Each journey is different.

Trying to live by someone else’s rhythm isn’t limited to blogging or running. We see it everywhere—academic performance, career choices, job titles, travel plans, lifestyle milestones, possessions, and success markers. Often, we conform without questioning whether those goals even matter to us.

Someone may travel more, earn more, score higher, own a bigger car, use flashier gadgets, or wear designer clothes. Should we compare ourselves and feel inadequate? Or should we pause and reflect on what truly brings us happiness?

Each of us has a unique mindset, different expectations, and distinct experiences that shape what fulfillment looks like. If something doesn’t bring you joy—just because others are chasing it—why should you?

If your situation and mindset are different, why waste time comparing yourself with others? Why try to fit your steps into someone else’s footprint?

Accept yourself.
Embrace your rhythm.
Move—or pause—when you choose.
Have fun. Enjoy the journey.

— Anitha KC

Images: Istockphoto.com, VectorStock.com