The Exhaustion We Normalize

Many of us have learned to accept exhaustion as a normal part of life. We say life is busy, this phase is demanding, and things will settle down later. We say this while managing work, family, responsibilities, expectations, and invisible emotional labour. We say it while replying to messages late at night, planning the next day before falling asleep, and waking up without feeling truly rested. Slowly, tiredness becomes an integral part of our identity — a constant, low-level fatigue pervades everyday life.

For a long time, I did not question this either. I learned how to function well, stay dependable, and remain organised. From the outside, life looked steady. Inside, I often felt stretched in ways I could not explain. I told myself this was simply what adulthood looked like — that being responsible meant being tired. So, I adjusted. I lowered my expectations of rest, postponed pauses, normalised mental clutter, and treated exhaustion as a sign of commitment.

Many of us do this without realising it. We celebrate being busy, admire resilience, and take pride in managing everything, even when it comes at the cost of our health or peace. Rarely do we pause to ask what this constant busyness is taking away from us. We keep moving forward because slowing down feels uncomfortable, and stopping feels like falling behind.

“If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit.” — Banksy

There is a kind of tiredness that rest can fix. And then there is another kind that comes from carrying too much mentally and emotionally for too long. This second kind is harder to notice. It may manifest as irritability, loss of focus, quiet withdrawal, or a feeling of being “fine” without actually being okay. Because others seem to manage, we assume it is normal. Because we are capable, we convince ourselves we can handle it.

Over time, I started to notice this pattern in myself and in many of my friends, colleagues, and women around me. We were strong, sincere, and deeply committed — and quietly depleted. We rarely paused or admitted that something wasn’t sustainable, not because we didn’t know, but because continuing felt easier than changing.

It takes courage to question what has become normal and notice when tiredness becomes constant, and managing life replaces truly living it.

It’s about living with more awareness and self-respect.  And choosing presence over pressure, balance over constant striving. Strength does not always mean pushing harder, and responsibility does not always mean sacrificing ourselves.

We don’t have to prove our worth through exhaustion. We don’t have to earn rest. A meaningful life is built on rhythms that support both our responsibilities and our well-being.

Your peace is more important than proving yourself to anyone

If you have been feeling tired in ways you haven’t named yet, this is a gentle reminder: you are not weak, behind, or failing. You are human, doing your best in a demanding world. And you deserve a life that supports you — not one that quietly consumes you.

As I continue reflecting on these patterns in my own life, I am learning that awareness is often the first quiet step toward change. In the coming days, I will be sharing some small shifts and simple practices that have helped me move from constant tiredness to a steadier, more sustainable way of living.

With warmth,
Anitha

Image: https://unsplash.com/@willpat